Noticing Glimmers and Practicing Gratitude the Keys to a Happier Life (2024)
Hello friends, this week I wanted to talk to you about glimmers and gratitude. These two things have become very important to me in my journey to wellness and serve as a way to stay grounded.
There were times during last year when I struggled to see anything to be grateful for and as much as I knew that there was much to be grateful for, all I could focus on was gut-wrenching loss, grief, and confusion compounded by other life stresses that came tumbling one on top of another.
As part of my wellness journey, I very slowly started to re-evaluate what was important in life and where and what I had given too much attention which meant my focus was out of alignment with being the best version of ‘self’. Don’t get me wrong, this didn’t happen quickly, in fact, I went into a depth of despair I hadn’t experienced before. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard, considered, or had conversations around the situation where, if home life is not right but work is good, you can be relatively okay and vice versa but when the two worlds collide adversely, then your world can come tumbling down around you – well that was me last year. So when I talk about glimmers and gratitude, please know this takes time, gentleness with self, and a heap load of self-compassion (which is a topic all by itself another time).
Much has been written about gratitude and how when we focus on what we have to be grateful for each day can have a direct effect on our levels of happiness. This can be so hard to do when life isn’t working in alignment for you so before I delve into gratitude a little more, let's look at something called ‘glimmers’, which is a relatively new concept to me.
Image with thanks, Unsplash @coopery
From a scientific perspective, and I’m no psychologist but in basic terms, a glimmer is the opposite of a trigger. Essentially, when we are triggered, either by a person, or a situation, it causes us to relive a past emotional experience – the process is called dysregulation and affects or sympathetic fight or flight response, which isn’t good for the mind or the body. In contrast, a glimmer is a moment when you experience a feeling of calm, and contentment; this process is called regulation and affects the parasympathetic nervous response connected with social engagement and safety. When this response is noticeable, the body is in homeostasis which is essential to regulation of the mind and body for wellness.
The word glimmers were coined by Deb Dana, who was a clinical social worker specialising in trauma, in her book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, she describes glimmers as small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation that cues our nervous system to feel safe and calm. These glimmers can have a profound positive impact on our mental health.
These glimmers are not big, expansive moments of joy or safety but micro-moments that affect the human system in a very subtle and gentle way, bringing ease, relaxation, safety, and connection.
Through her work with those affected by trauma, Dana describes the noticing of glimmers as “respectful of their suffering” and that working to notice glimmers is not discounting trauma or ongoing suffering but enabling people to know that their biology is set up to be able to also notice those micro-moments of joy.
So where are these glimmers? The first, step is to gently look for them, observe them, and the subtle reactions in the way that your mind and body react to them. They can be found in the simplest of places or situations:
In nature, just the small act of sitting and admiring nature in all its beauty – taking in the sights, smells, and sounds around you.
Noticing and appreciating a family member, a stranger, or a friend's kind gesture – the warmth in their voice, their embrace, and the kindness in their words.
The small moments of joy when we spend time with our pets.
The recollection of a smell that transports you to a happy memory, for example, the smell of a loved one's perfume, or the Sunday dinner cooking in the kitchen.
The sound of a poignant piece of music that eases your senses or revives your mind.
The beauty of this process is that when you start to notice glimmers, you can’t stop noticing them and they engulf you with a sense of wellbeing.
So I invite you to set yourself a challenge of noticing a glimmer before lunch, and I mean really notice it, sit with the feeling, and observe its effects on your mind and body. Then build upon that gradually each day.
How wonderful would it be to have a jar of glimmers, where you note them down, place them in a jar, and revisit them from time to time?
Let’s move on to gratitude, which again is very much linked to glimmers. A gratitude is – the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
There is a wonderful quote by Tony Robbins – “When we have an attitude of gratitude we see life as it is; an unbelievable gift.”
Again, not dissimilar to glimmers, it can be really hard to think of things we are grateful for when the world seems to showing up for us in a detrimental way, but there are always things to be grateful for. Just the simple acknowledgment that you are in good health, or that you have a roof over your head is a really easy place to begin.
I recall many years ago when I had surgery and was unable to do any of the simplest things we usually take for granted for myself, including putting the kettle on and making a cup of tea.
I’ve spoken a little about noticing glimmers and perhaps having that ‘glimmer jar’ – now gratitude is a step further. It is a mindset, yes but it can also be a set of actions too. You will no doubt have seen journals on the shelves of bookstores and they nearly always require a person to write down three things they are grateful for at the start and the end of the day.
Now I’m not advocating anyone go off and buy a journal but just taking a piece of paper is just as good – try it for a week or two and see how it feels over time.
If you do wish to journal, that is just perfect too – you can revisit my blog from last year around this topic area, if you want more information about this: https://jackiemandeir.com/blog/how-journaling-benefits-your-health-and-how-to-build-a-journaling-habit-2022
My Favourite Things This Week
Quote of the Week
“When you choose to notice the little things, the world becomes a much more beautiful place. Find the beauty of the little things and the whole picture becomes a bit more magnificent ”
Photo of the Week
Sunrise Leicester 21st January 2024
I’m in awe every time I look at this photograph, which I tool from my car whilst sitting at some traffic lights.
Question of the Week
What are the glimmers that spark joy in your lives?
And lastly, I have something nice to tell you all, I have, making its way to me, some ceremonial cacao, which I am going to use to build a beautiful morning routine. I thought I would document this as I go, so more to come on that next week.
Have a wonderful week ahead all – I look forward to reading your reflections on this blog.
Jackie