Introduction

Have you ever tried affirmations and felt… a little silly? You stand in front of the mirror and say, “I am confident,” while a quiet inner voice whispers, Are you though? Or stop being ridiculous or who are you kidding.

That’s definitely how I felt when I began this practice and if that’s you, you’re not doing anything wrong, you’re just being human.

Image with thanks
Unsplash -
@priscilladupreez

Affirmations are often misunderstood. They aren’t about pretending or about bypassing reality. And they certainly aren’t about forcing positivity.
When used properly, affirmations can become a gentle way to retrain perception, soften self-criticism, and rewire long-standing patterns of self-doubt.
The way I think about affirmations now is that they are not about pretending or trying to fool oneself but they are about retraining perception and gently shifting ones internal dialogue.

Why Affirmations Can Feel Fake

It wasn’t until I understood that the brain prefers familiar stories and is designed for efficiency. The brain strengthens its neural pathways when patterns are repeated, so if you’ve long rehearsed thoughts like:

“I’m not good enough.”

“I always mess things up.”
“Other people are more capable than me.”

These pathways become familiar. And the brain loves familiar. So when you introduce a new thought like, “I trust myself,” your system may resist it and this is where that doubt creeps in, not because it’s untrue, but because it’s unfamiliar.

Affirmations work best when your nervous system feels safe.

If a statement feels too big, for example, “I am wildly successful” but actually you’re overwhelmed and dysregulated, your body will reject it. That’s why gentle, identity-based affirmations are powerful. They regulate rather than agitate.

For example: “I am enough exactly as I am.” This affirmation doesn’t demand performance, instead it invites safety.

What Affirmations Actually Do

Affirmations are not magical thinking. They are repeated identity cues and over time they work because:

1. They Interrupt the Inner Critic - every time you consciously speak a compassionate statement, you interrupt automatic negative self-talk.

2. They Support Identity Shifts - we don’t change by force. We change by rehearsing a new identity.

“I am learning to trust myself” becomes “I trust myself.”

3. They Anchor Worth in the Present - affirmations move worth from achievement-based to inherent.

Not “I’ll be enough when” But “I am enough now.” That shift is profound.

The Whole-Self Approach to Affirmations

In NeuroSoul Coaching, I speak a lot about connecting the whole-self:

Mind – beliefs and thought patterns
Body – posture, breath, felt safety
Soul – intuition, deeper truth, meaning

Affirmations work best when they involve all three, so when you next try affirmations, try this:

Stand tall.
Take one slow breath.
Speak one affirmation slowly.
Notice what you feel, without judgment. If your mind is saying ‘You’re just being silly’ or ‘Who are you kidding, this isn’t true’ – that’s okay.

This isn’t about convincing yourself, it’s about creating new internal evidence and this comes over time.

Keep things simple – at the beginning,5 minutes is long enough.
Print them and place them somewhere where you can easily pick them up. Even better write them in a journal.
Speak them aloud, notice resistance but without judgment (it really doesn’t matter how silly you feel, just keep repeating them day after day).
Choose consistency over intensity – the more you keep at the affirmations the more your nervous system begins to accept them as truths.

5 Empowering Affirmations to Begin With

Here are five from my Whole-Self Empowerment Practice:

I am enough exactly as I am.
Why it works: You worth is not earned. It is inherent.

I trust myself to make the right decisions.
Why it works: Self-trust grows through use.

I release comparison and embrace my uniqueness.
Why it works: Your difference is not a flaw — it is who you are.

I honour my needs and boundaries.
Why it works: Rest is not weakness. It is wisdom.

I rise each time I fall.
Why it works: Resilience is already part of you.

When Affirmations Don’t Work

If affirmations feel disconnected, that’s important information, sometimes the nervous system needs regulation before repetition.

Affirmations are supportive tools, not a replacement for deeper healing work, so a gentle approach works best.

A Gentle Invitation to Begin

If you’d like a structured, printable resource to support your daily affirmation practice, I’ve created a free: Whole-Self Empowerment Affirmation Practice

It includes:

Carefully crafted affirmations
Expanded supportive statements
A grounding introduction
A simple daily reading structure

You can download it here: Whole-Self Empowerment Affirmation Practice

Closing Reflection

Finally, affirmations are not about becoming someone new, performing confidence, or layering positivity over self-doubt. They are about returning to your original centre.

Beneath the pressure to achieve, the habit of comparison, and the old stories you’ve rehearsed for years, there is a steadier truth about who you are. Affirmations simply help you remember it.

Each repetition softens the noise of the inner critic and strengthens a quieter, more grounded identity, one that is rooted in inherent worth rather than external validation.

Why Affirmations Feel Fake (And How to Make Them Transformative)